I am doing this. I am going to La Kuki to find Reiner. Just to say a good bye to him. He said it to me, so why would not I be allowed to say one to him?
It is not far from my job, so I walk after work. It is a two storey building, in the first floor there is a bar, in the second floor the restaurant.
I am looking for Reiner, I say to the guy at the bar. For whom? For the cook, Reiner.
We don’t have a cook with such name. Are you sure? Small, with short blond hair. He shrugs his shoulders. No. We just have two Italian cooks, this is it.
Could Reiner be Italian? Anything, but not Italian.
Would you like to eat something? The barman asks. You know that we are a vegetarian restaurant.
I could never be a vegetarian because dreams eat human flesh.
Amanda says that I have such a desire for Reiner because I can not get him. You saw him only once and he disappeared. He is filled with absence and absence is the only perfect thing in the world. (She studied philosophy, this is where it comes from.)
If you would have a possibility to meet him again, when you want, you would be already bored with him. What would you two speak about? Are you interested in cooking?
I start a vague argument, that in general I am very interested in cooking, one day I will do seated dinners that the whole country will be jealous about, but it does not sound very convincing. I remember that he mentioned he had a girlfriend, but I did not pay any attention to that fact. How anyone could be restricted if he has a girlfriend or a boyfriend? I don’t understand that. When I was fifteen and I was walking one winter night home through the cemetery I promised to myself that I will never ever be faithful to anyone.
Reiner replies to my e-mail. He just writes three sentences, something very sweet and hearty. He calls me “little mouse”. At then at the end he writes “I should go”. I write him back and wait for the answer, but it does not follow.
The Cook’s name is Rainer and he works in a place called “La Kuki”, in the center. I have never been there, but this is not far from where I work. I have seen their stand outside. It has a burning pancake on it.
He is small, really small for a guy, blond short hair (I have never been with a man with blond hair) and looks very young. It is just the look, in fact he is just couple of years younger than me. He is an eternal boy who will look young all his life. And I am petite, also with short hair, so we look like too brothers.
He does not smoke and does not drink, only the peppermint tea. Yet he is not boring or stupid and he does not object when I puff my cigarette and pour some red wine. He tells some interesting insider stuff from cooks business – like they have many sorts of melons in the kitchen. Or that cooks are under horrible stress. Which isn’t a secret to anyone.
I don’t remember anymore how do we start kissing, it happens so naturally, we are sitting on the floor, talking and then he takes out the wine glass from my hands and caresses my cheek. Then we kiss and go to the bed.